Life on earth is possible because we transact with everything around us. Inhaling and exhaling is a transaction. We are always in relationships with the things around us. In our relationships with people, we may have come across someone saying “How can I trust you any more?” — what does it really mean?

When someone say this, why are they saying this? — isn’t it when they have expectations of another person and it was not met, and they say how can I trust you “to meet my expectations again in the future”. If their expectations from another person is met, then they say they can trust that person, to again meet their expectations in the future.

If someone have expectations from someone and if they are met as they expect, that makes the person feel comfortable and safe. Why? because they are in control of their expectations of someone being met as they expect. That control of the other person makes them feel safe and comfortable. So when someone say they can not trust, what they are really saying is “I can not control you, so I don’t feel safe now and in the future”. — Why do they need to feel safe when they can control someone?

1. Unresolved Unpleasant Memories

There may be unresolved, unhealed moments in their life, where they were not in control and were hurt, which made them feel unsafe. Now they need to feel in control to feel safe, and if not, they have a memory that they will get hurt. If someone were to see this clearly, the moment they can not trust another person, is a perfect window to go within and resolve those unaddressed memories.

2. Outsourced Self-resilience

Another reason why someone need external control to feel safe is: If that person lacks self-resilience, to trust in their own self, in their own capabilities to handle whatever the outcome is. Instead of trusting in their own abilities, they have outsourced the trust to someone else. This sense of outsourcing has been deep trained in schools, to trust a teacher or an authoritative figure. This trains to always look for outside person for guidance instead of teaching them to look within — which they can not control. If we were taught to look within, they would not have any factory workers.

Bring It Back Within

The world around us may sometimes happen the way we want or it may not, we can try all we want but it is not something we can 100% control. If someone want to find safety through something that they can not 100% control, then their sense of safety is accidental.

What is needed is to look within, and find those memories that created lack of trust in your own self, in your own capabilities and love those parts of you again and learn to trust that 100%, the amazing intelligence and the wisdom within, instead of outsourcing it to others. It is absolutely possible to re-wire those old memories that are no longer helping and find deep love and safety within and show up to the world with trust in your own capabilities to handle whatever the world throws at you, specially when things go the way you do not expect!

If you have kids, have you ever heard someone tell you this “Embrace your kids as much as you can, because before you know it, they will grow up and move out, and you will be wishing for these moments with your kids…” – something of these lines. Usually, it is old grandparents or parents with older kids who tell this to others. I say they have completely missed the point and are telling others how to miss the point too.

You see, when kids come along, no matter whatever you tell yourself, fundamentally they come along as an accessory to your life – An accessory, whether planned or unplanned. If you’ve planned, then an accessory you’ve planned with the hope that will enhance your life.

The magic of this accessory is; when they are little they need all your attention and support to do things and to simply survive because they are not fully capable. So you just cannot ignore them. You must attend full-on to them. The magic lies in being fully on with them. This magical accessory has come along and unlike never before in your life, it is forcing you to be fully on to life — whether you like what they are doing or not. It has come along to show you how to be joyful, how to play, how to be silly, how to be yourself, how to break free from your learned nonsense, and to teach you how to take care of someone beyond you, before you. All of which you may have forgotten or forced to forget by your grown-ups.

More importantly, this magical accessory is here to show you how, with tremendous force, to be fully on to life, to this moment, to the life outside of you experienced intensely within you in this very moment away from all your psychological drama. An accessory you’d hoped would enhance your life, is indeed enhancing your life in ways you never imagined.

This magical accessory is creating an amazing opportunity for you to reconnect back with this realization, with this understanding, with this awareness, with this attention so powerfully.

If you are too buried in your memories, you will miss this wonderful opportunity. What a shame it would be. Then you will go on telling silly messages to other parents.

If you are wise enough to realize this and grab this lesson, it will live with you forever and you will be the only one too busy intensely living and experiencing this moment joyfully. You will not have the time to replay past memories with little kids, because you have the capability and know-how to live this moment intensely. If you have learned that lesson, kindly taught by those magical accessories, in the future, whether you have an accessory in your life or not, you will know how to live life joyfully with intensity. To live life intensely means, you never feel like anything is missing in life. To live life intensely means, you will live to your full potential doing what needs done joyfully.

So do not get too lost in trying to embrace this moment, and “yes” kids will grow up, if they don’t that’s a problem. Instead of all this, pay attention, see if you can see the lesson kindly taught once and for all — a lesson that was forgotten, a lesson that is worth learning for this life to be rich.

How many times did someone say something and you felt it was disrespectful or it was respectful? It is kind of a learned thing isnt it? What is respectful and what is disrespectful is relative to each person’s own experience and their memory.

See, what someone says is not about disrespect or respect. It is about survival.

If I say derogatory things to you, but with a smile on my face, and your ears are not working. You hear no sounds, but you see a smile. So you think, “Hey he must be saying some nice things about me” so you feel happy. But now you have a powerful microphone in you, it is picking up sound signals, and you understand them, so you process them and put them into respectful or disrespectful buckets. The sound from outside, you process inside and make stupid conclusions about it and choose to (or automatically force to because of memory) respond in a certain way based on memories of similar input. So it is all made up inside and it is not really about what’s said is respectful or disrespectful.

It is about survival. If I say mean things to you all the time, you may hang around for a bit, but soon you don’t want to hear mean things anymore and you move away or avoid me. Nobody wants to be around someone who says mean things. But if I say sweet and kind things, you want to be around me and other people will also want to be around me. Whether I say mean things or kind things is a matter of whether I have the right capacity inside to respond kindly and sweetly, isn’t it? Whatever someone makes out of what I say is their problem. But what I say is completely my doing.

So to survive and thrive we must develop the right kind of internal structures and processes and make sure what is happening inside is capable of producing sweetness and kindness outwards.

I wanted to explore and write about the power of being alone by ourselves, in light of the passing away of a dear friend I knew from high school.

When we are little, we are able to be by ourselves, play alone, with an imagination full flow, nothing bothering us. We are just living life to the fullest, absolutely absorbed in the tiniest and most intricate details of existence. Then as we grow up, the cultures and people around us start saying “You need to have friends”, “don’t be alone go hang out with friends” Or “Go do something, don’t just sit around” or “Why are you alone” (as if being alone is a problem for someone else). Again and again, we are being told by others who were told by someone else, that essentially to be complete we must be with others and do some things.

With this continuous repeats of that narrative (now on self-help playing on our own heads), when we are not with others and not doing anything, we start to replay those memories and create conclusions. Conclusions that we are not complete without those things. That narrative itself creates cascades of other emotions and feelings that wash through our bodies and alternate the biochemistry of our bodies. Which soon would be recognized as mental illness and big pharma would create pills to fix it. (Not really fix, but to just cover it up. Anti-depression drugs are a big seller)

Once we taste the elevation of our inner state by doing something or being with others, without those would start to feel very bored and empty, if we have done those as a way to fill up from an internal place of lack. These experiences create a longing for more of those external things as we use them to fill us up temporarily.

I grew up in a culture where it is impossible to be away from people and so much of the fabric of life is crafted depending on and helping each other. Moving from that to a culture of super individual independence society, initially was a hard thing to grasp. In the US you can literary stay inside the house and do everything you want without ever leaving the house. From having so much interaction and being used to that much interaction to keep me elevated, to not having that was a very tough thing at first.

We come here alone and we go out alone. But when we are here, are we not able to be alone? When we come here as animals, we need to be in groups just to survive. But when we come here as humans, we now have the super-intelligence to override those animal instincts to consciously respond to events in life. We have the capacity to conduct ourselves without being in a group. We have everything we need within us to supercharge ourselves.

If our whole experience of human life has been entertained by external experiences and replaying those recorded memories again and again in various combinations, to be alone by ourselves, and to not pay attention to replayed recorded memories, would be a scary experience. “What would it be without the drama that has entertained me all this time? I would be bored out of my mind” Because being bored they say is a problem.

If we are simply able to sit still and pay so powerful attention to all the sensory inputs experienced inside the body, heartbeat, breath coming in and out, and various other sensations within the body, that experience itself can keep us occupied and entertained. This experience is not replaying recorded experiences from the past or crafting future experiences with recorded memories — this experience is a powerful awareness and bringing attention to the very human life experienced within the body to the fullest in each moment. It takes enormous courage to step away from a learned compulsion to drama and various external situations used as a way to keep us entertained, into being absolutely entertained just by our existence, subtlest things experienced in the body and supercharge ourselves.

If we can just be absolutely entertained by paying attention to our own nature, without needing anything from outside or wishing outside happen in a certain way, how empowering is it? Then we don’t need a whole village to keep us entertained. If we don’t know how to be entertained by our own nature and always looking for something out there to keep us occupied, we will always need and always be hooked for something from out there. But once we know how to be absolutely occupied and blissed-out just by our own nature, by the subtleties of human experience, where everything is happening and where the whole world is experienced, we no longer need to rely on things from out there to entertain us. We could never be bored, whatever is and is not out there.

This, replaying recorded experiences from the memory business, takes a huge toll on the energies in the body. But to just pay super attention to the inside, charges the energies. From this charged up super alert state, whatever happens outside, now we can respond and do what is needed.

Once we supercharge ourselves, now stepping into external experiences and groups will create a completely difference experience. Because we no longer need those to fill us up. From a place of fullness, we now share our light outwards. From a place of fullness, external situations will no longer start to affect what is felt inside, and what is felt inside is supercharged with vibrance regardless of outside! — Now this would be an amazing state to be in to spend our beautiful lives on this wonderful planet.

I once saw in a small village in Sri Lanka where people live bare minimum very close to nature. No plastic, no processed foods, no fad diets, no exercise regime, no lavish accommodations, no luxury conveniences.

If I look closely, in this world, people who have PHD, ABC. XYZ after their names have created and cultivated various methods that have caused the most destruction to this wonderful planet. Educated people, thought they were superior to those who had not learned ABC or 123. In that short time span, it felt like the creations they were uncovering, seemed magical. Everyone wanted to be like them to create their own magical creations. They thought they were enhancing human lives. In that short time span in history, everyone who was not educated was mesmerized by their work and wanted to be like them.

Education is a huge empowerment, no question about that. It helped humans break free from an otherwise oppressive cast system and physically exhausting labor class. It helped me tremendously to achieve things unimaginable, had I been stuck to paths without education as those before me.

However, with a limited understanding of what is life, limited just to humans as the most important lives on earth, the educated people run a big show creating wellness and comforts and conveniences for humans. In the 21st century, we stand as the most comfortable humans to ever live on earth. In this pursuit, have we checked to see how many other creatures lost their lives as hindrances to human progress? Have we checked, how much plant life we displace, with millions of creatures (lives) living on it? So much of the destructure beyond human lives has gone unchecked, simply because of the pursuit of educated peoples’ desires to create wellness for just one species of creatures on earth.

I am not going to give the statistics of this destruction, you can look it up. This explosion of human-centered education with a limited understanding of the universe, and life, had caused immense damage. This is also a very recent event, in the span of human history on earth – maybe 200 years, relative to millions of years of human existence. This very recent, explosion of educated humans, has caused more destruction to this wonderful planet, than billions of other humans that lived here, millions of years ago. That is a tragedy.

In the 21st century, I see the direct impact of this right back at us. The ever-changing climate is having to change its systems in drastic ways than before to maintain balance. Earth is not going to break it will always maintain balance. However, the question is at what point will these drastic changes be hostile to life on earth, hostile to humans? So drastic to the point we are not able to bring it back to a level that is conducive to life.

It is time we, expand our identity beyond human-centric-ness, to an all-inclusive earthly level, to include all lives on earth – even the tiny ants, even the commonly weeded-out Dandilions, before empowering humans with education! So that everything we do, will be done to enhance the quality of all the lives that call this place home! Education has helped many break barriers, otherwise impossible, and it has brought us to where we are. From here we must use education in a conscious way, not standard dose to everyone. In a conscious earth-centric way to expand what interests us that can also enhance the entire ecosystem where we live.

If you are procrastinating something, that means obviously you don’t like what you have to do. If you like what you have to do, you wouldn’t stop doing it, wouldn’t you?

Tell a kid who loves to paint, to stop it and do it tomorrow, and he will scream. He loves painting, you can not stop him from painting.

In a society where we think before we exist, ppl try to think of strategies for how to do what we do not want to do – for the sake of productivity or whatever other nonsense. Trying to squash the message from our body, our Sathya.

Our body’s super intelligence is screaming at us.
Just quiet, listen, and act that’s all…

I think when sages said staying with pain opens doors to greater wisdom and consciousness and that we shouldn’t chase after pleasure. – what they meant is: 

life is fundamentally joyous and we deserve to feel pleasure and we are worthy to feel pleasure. But without a strong foundation of understanding of the desires, the pleasures can easily open up additions and own us instead of us seeking pleasure to fulfill our inner desires.

Our bodies know what we need, it has insanely amazing intelligence. If we are tuned into this body and can listen to what our body needs, then when it needs pleasure we can allow it to enjoy pleasure but knowingly, comes from a place of understanding that I am seeking the pleasure, that my intelligent body is desiring this from life at this point. 

The difference between seeking pleasure without this understanding I think is, then we feel the need to seek pleasure and deliver it to us, and we seek the joy it gives us and we get addicted to it, and before we know we are eating 10 cookies and now the pleasure owns us. I think if we don’t have that clarity into our inner body, of its desires and when the pleasures are fulfilled – which is very hard to do in the modern world filled with distractions and stimulations of all kinds – then we lose track of when our pleasures are satisfied and the knowing that we are in control and not the pleasure. 

Maybe when a need for pleasure comes up, instead of reaching for it right away, just sitting with it and asking if this is really what is needed for my intelligence body or am I seeking this to cover a very deep underlying desire – might give more insight to what we truly desire. Which will give an everlasting fulfillment over the immediate pleasure we seek. 

Most of the time we don’t even feel our bodies from within to see what our bodies need. We just automatically reach for pleasures because of the thought of the joy it can give. And then it creates a hook for that joy via this pleasure. Because the underlying desire is not met, now it is covered up with this pleasure quickly. Quick pleasures have something with it that makes them very easy to get addicted to. And the pleasure it gives runs out quickly too. Whereas if I were to listen deeply to my body’s intelligence and give it the deeply needed pleasure to feel fulfilled, that would keep me fulfilled for longer. 

It is perfectly ok, actually more than ok, and it’s our right to feel various pleasures in life. Life is joyous with all the pleasures. We just need to listen carefully to the call for pleasure from within, and clearly know it is me seeking the pleasure and not the pleasure, seeking me. I think just being with ourselves and listening to the feedback from our 5 senses, the breath and pulse from the heart, we can train ourselves to listen very closely to what our inner works desire and lack and know when it’s fulfilled. 

I think most of the time when we are addicted to pleasure, we lose track of when the desire for pleasure is filled. Again if we pay absolute attention to our inner works, we can see when we experience pleasure, and once the pleasure experience is done or during the pleasure experience, a sense of “urg I don’t really need this anymore” or feeling of left low and empty – that is a great sign that the need has already been met for the pleasure and we are owned by the pleasure now.

It’s like you eat the first cookie because a cookie is what your inner desires crave. But after eating 3, 4, or 5 cookies you start to feel gross, that is when you have crossed the line of fulfilling the inner desire but now the temptation of the pleasure of eating a cookie owns your guidance system. If we are always intuned with our inner guidance system and pay absolute attention to its subtle signals, I think we can know “hey I have had enough cookies and my craving for cookies is fulfilled time to get up and move away”. 

Amazingly great insight is already within us working at the top level for us, we just need to be quiet enough to listen to the wisdom that is always presented to us.